i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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