I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
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I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
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And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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