you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize