I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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