i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
