Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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