Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
