Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize