so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
the raccoons are back...
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