you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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