Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
