I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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