No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
third nipple confirmed
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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