He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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