I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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