I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I wish life had little blips of pornography
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
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I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
