i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
