Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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