All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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