I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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