Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
well you can't waste a boner
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
