New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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