Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
