I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
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I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
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im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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