All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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