He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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