I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
