is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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