What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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