I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
All the doctor said was why
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
