I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
