Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
