'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
