so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I FOUND THE LEGS
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
