farters have to be the big spoon...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize