No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
