I think I won the penis lottery.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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