How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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