I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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