You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
