im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
