I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
