from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
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He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
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okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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