it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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