Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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