i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
MIDGETS
????
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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