i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
