I love black thongs
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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