I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she looked like the before picture.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
this is an emotional support booty call
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
