i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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