is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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