he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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