marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
