So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
