And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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