Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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