Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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