It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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