I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Your penis caused this!
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