Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize