she looked like the bat from fern gully.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
