Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
ugly people sure do ruin things
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
