So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
