I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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