That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
